He was going to Romania and I mentioned Gypsies

And like I mostly wanted to talk about Vlad the Impaler but he kept bringing the conversation back

And I just talked about how we don’t have them in Canada because they don’t have passports and we have a hard time understanding them

and I told this story about this ballsy Gypsy kid in France, but it was all, like, respect

Like I didn’t even realize he was getting offended until Pattie told me so

And then he came back, and I apologised, and he said “Tell that joke to your manager (from Romania) and see how he takes it”

and I was like WAIT WHAT JOKE

AND I REMEMBERED

I mentioned they didn’t have passports, which is why we don’t have them in Canada

and Pattie mentioned how they’re everywhere here

and I was like “I guess they’re like Mormons then”

and she was like “They might get offended, then”

and I was like “They can’t it’s against their religion”

I DON’T THINK HE REALIZED I WAS MAKING FUN OF MORMONS

like sure you could take it the other way but it’s clearly not intended that way and I was TRYING TO OFFEND MORMONS NOT GYPSIES GEEZ there’s a whole musical about it I’m allowed to

BUT I’M SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU SIR

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT GYPSIES I LEARNT FROM HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME and that one episode of Criminal Minds

So let’s see what the next 2 weeks have for me:

Tuesday, 23rd: Matthew Bourne’s Sleeping Beauty

Wednesday, 24th: Flight to Canada

Friday 26- Sun 28: Calgary Comic Expo

some point during the week: Royal Tyrell Museum

May 3rd: Iron Man 3

Finally, I might add.

Stayed up all night so I could get there early enough to land a ticket - they put a few on sale every day at 10, but you have to be there really early to land there - got there about 6:45, was the third last or so to get one. Made a friend in line!

It was really good, too. I usually have a hard time sitting through Shakespeare in one go - Hollow Crown nonwithstanding - and even in my entirely sleep-deprived state I only dozed through one monologue. (My original plan had been to get tickets for the evening show and nap during the day, but alas, only tickets for the matinee were left)

Lots of gore, too, that was cool. More than a little freaky? They’d switch scenes with loud CRACKS and industrial noise and flickering lights. The witches wore gas masks, that was neat.

My seat was kinda cool, too - it was actually behind the stage, ‘bout four rows back, but the actors came out behind/through us. And they way they staged it, being behind didn’t really matter.

I’d say it was worth the £10.

I still have a bit more Venice stuff that I may or may not get around to posting

depends on my mood

-OH WOW the weather’s shit today

-IS THAT SNOW

-WHY IS THERE SNOW THIS IS VENICE I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD SNOW

-okay so museum day 2.0

-Doge?

-ooh yeah line no

-but ohmygod

-no crowds

-bless

-OKAY SO Renaissance museum

-ugh slush I’m so wet

-it’s not even that cold I’m just wet gross

-OOH LEONARDO DAVINCI MUSEUM

-Oh Da Vinci

-You were one crazy awesome mofo

-EXCUSE YOU DA VINCI MOVIE

-Where’s the mention that Salai was also probably his lover excuse you

-Ugh I’m super excited about that new Da Vinci series like wow

-OKAY RENAISSANCE MUSEUM

-Should just need to cross one bridge

-one

-one bridge

-I

-shit that was like bridge number four

-GODDAMN IT I’m pretty much back at the hostel

-aw shit let’s just go put on some dry socks

-okay dry socks

-RENAISSANCE MUSEUM FOR REALZIES

-I swear if I don’t find it this time I’ll just go screw it and hit up the Doge’s palace

-Okay here’s Leonardo

-so I should be close

-And I-

-SHIT IT WAS LIKE RIGHT THERE DAMNIT

-okay so Renaissance

-I

-wow this is really just more of a single particular house than actual Renaissance

-disappoint

-OH JOY AN ART COLLECTION well might as well

-man

-paintings are weird

-are those children fighting a leopard

-so much jesus

-okay bored now

-Doge’s

-OH LOOK A LINE

-BUT WAIT

-PRE-PAYED TICKET

-LATER BITCHES

-okay so Doge’s

-fancy courtyard

-pretty sure I killed someone here

-probably hid in that well

-PRISONS OH I’M SO THERE

-ohmygod stairs

-stairs

-wow opulence

-Italians please learn to label

-WHAT IS THIS PAINTING PORTRAYING I’D LIKE TO KNOW

-I could guess if it was at least labeled in Italian

-wow throne room

-OHMYGAWD

-ARMOUR AND WEAPONS

-YIIIIIIIS

-I HAVE KILLED MEN WITH EACH OF THESE

-OHMYGAWD GUUUUUUUNS

-THEY’RE SO OOOOOOLD

-SO STEAMPUNK EEEEEEEE

-PRISONS YES

-oh god no a school group

-UGH TEENS NO

-OH GOD FRENCH TEENS EVEN WORSE

-ugh go faaaaaster

-wow these prisons are kinda super boring

-they’re just

-empty rooms

-come on give me some history or some torture devices or something

-ooh bridge of sighs

-wow it’s super unimpressive from the inside

-fancy cabinets

-BOOK STORE and done

-I should

-hit up the basilica

-at the same time

-hungry

-ultra-late lunch first

-holy crap

-it’s like

-a slush blizzard

-oh my god my shoes are not meant to handle this much water

-NOT FAIR

-okay food and wi fi

-they’re not busy

-not gonna feel bad about pissing around here for a while

-OKAY TIME TO GO HOME

-Bascilica’s prob closed, naval museum too

-tomorrow

-oh my god

-cold

-wet

-can’t see a goddamn thing

-shit am I lost

-shit i’m lost

-DAMN IT

-NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS TODAY

-ASKING FOR DIRECTIONS

-YOU

-POINT

and now I’m home, taken a SCALDING shower and feeling much happier for it. Would’ve liked to have gone to the Basilica and/or the Naval museum (I’m a little wary of the latter, though, because on one hand AW YEAH NAVAL MUSEUM, on the other hand I’d kind of need to read everything and how much would be in English? The Basilica I could probably live without too because it’s just a super-fancy church but at the same time ASSASSIN TOMB plus tomorrow’s mask buying day but I swear if this weather keeps up I’m totally staying in all day fuck everything

But tomorrow there’s a few Carnevale events I want to go to too – there’s going to be a FLYING LION and they’re gonna light up the Grande Canale (not my end, unfortunately) and considering the latter was the entire reason I came on the dates I did I should PROBABLY GO

also worth mentioning is that the english girls are gone (and the french dude) and so now it’s just me and this group of like five american girls and they’re nice enough but they’re so QUINTESSENTIALLY AMERICAN COLLEGE GIRLS and I’d laugh if I wasn’t so awkward about it like they keep talking about boys and plucking each other’s eyebrows and doing each other’s nails it’s REALLY WEIRD I’M AT A SLUMBER PARTY I WASN’T INVITED TOO